RUNNING SCARED

  Mandasue Heller

  Contents

  Acknowledgements

  PART ONE

  1

  2

  3

  4

  5

  6

  7

  8

  9

  10

  PART TWO: Ten Years Later

  11

  12

  13

  14

  15

  16

  17

  18

  19

  20

  21

  22

  23

  24

  25

  26

  27

  28

  29

  30

  31

  32

  33

  34

  35

  36

  37

  38

  39

  40

  41

  42

  43

  44

  45

  46

  47

  48

  49

  Epilogue

  RUN

  SAVE ME

  BRUTAL

  WITNESS

  For my beautiful mum, with eternal love x

  Acknowledgements

  All my love as ever to my beautiful family: Win, Michael, Andrew, Azzura, Marissa, Lariah, Antonio, Marlowe, Ava, Amber, Martin, Jade, Reece, Kyro, Diaz, Azariah, Silvia, Paul, Marvin, Joseph, Daniel, Natalie, Amari, Aziah, Elle, Auntie Doreen, Peter, Lorna, Cliff, Chris, Glen, Julie and co. – and the rest of our loved ones, past and present.

  Love to my friends: Liz Paton, Norman Brown, Katy and John, Amanda Jayne, Betty and Ronnie Schwartz, Trixy, Jo Mitchell, Tasha Rea, Louis Emerick, Steve Evets, Joe Gill, Jodie Prenger, Neil Hurst, Brian and Jac Capron, Sean Ward, Angela Lonsdale, Laney, all my old Hulme friends, Carolyn Caughey, Rick, Chris, Dr Sue.

  Special thanks to Sheila Crowley, Wayne Brookes, and everyone involved in getting this book into readers’ hands.

  Gratitude to everyone who buys, sells, or lends them out, and to my lovely friends and supporters on social media.

  And, lastly, a special mention to Adelweiss for your help with the detective stuff – you’re a star! Also, Brenda Farrugia – for your kindness; and Rachel Thomas, who won the competition to have a character in this book named after her. Hope you like your namesakes, ladies x

  PART ONE

  1

  Bored with the book her English teacher had ordered the class to read, Lexi James tossed it aside and flopped back against her pillows. She didn’t know why the stupid cow thought any teenager in this day and age would be remotely interested in a load of plum-in-gob Victorian women whose lives revolved around pleasing their controlling, womanizing husbands, but she refused to waste one more second of her life on it. And if Ms Matthews threw one of her spot-tests later in the week, well . . . that’s what Google was for.

  Suddenly aware it was getting dark outside, she glanced at the alarm clock on her bedside table and shuffled off the bed to draw her curtains when she saw that it was almost 7 p.m. She’d started on her homework as soon as she got home and hadn’t even changed out of her school uniform yet, never mind eaten.

  Belly rumbling at the thought of food, she headed into the kitchen to heat a bowl of stew from the pan her mum had left on the stove before setting off for work that afternoon. The air in there was icy, and she hugged herself when goosebumps sprang up all over her body as she waited for the microwave to ping. Seconds before it did, she heard a key scraping the lock of the front door, and her heart sank when her stepdad, Tony Lawson, stumbled inside muttering drunken curses under his breath. He didn’t usually leave the pub until last orders, so he must have run out of money – or run into someone he owed money to. Either way, her plan to eat dinner in front of the TV was wrecked, because there was no way she was going to sit in the front room playing happy families with that fat pig.

  ‘Beth?’ Tony called out as he staggered up the hallway. ‘Where are ya? I need some dosh.’ He fell against the kitchen door frame in a fug of booze fumes, BO and stale smoke, and narrowed his glazed eyes when he spotted Lexi. ‘Where’s your mam?’

  ‘Work,’ Lexi said, eyeing him warily. She didn’t like being alone with him at the best of times, but she especially didn’t like being anywhere near him when he was pissed. Changing her mind about the stew, she tried to edge around him, but he put his hand on the door frame to prevent her from getting past.

  ‘Not rushing off and leaving me on me own, are you?’

  ‘I need to revise for my exams,’ she lied, folding her arms when his gaze slid down to her breasts, which were straining against the buttons of her too-tight school shirt.

  ‘Why bother with all that shit when you can lie back and let a man take care of you?’ he said, grinning as he lowered his face to within inches of hers. ‘You’re a pretty girl and you need someone to show you the ropes before the lads start sniffin’ round – know what I mean?’

  Nauseated by his boozy breath and the leery glint in his eyes, Lexi jerked her head back when he tried to stroke her cheek with a nicotine-stained finger.

  ‘Like that, is it?’ he chuckled. ‘Gonna make me work for it, are ya?’

  ‘Get lost!’ she hissed, ducking under his arm and running to her room.

  ‘Cock teaser,’ Tony called after her.

  Heart pounding, Lexi closed her door and pressed her ear to the wood, praying that he wouldn’t follow and try to force his way in. He’d never done so before. But then he’d never looked at her like that before, either; and that remark he’d made about teaching her the ropes had totally creeped her out.

  Relieved to hear the TV go on in the living room a few seconds later, Lexi pulled her jacket on and stuffed her feet into her trainers, then slid the window with the broken catch open and climbed out onto the communal landing outside, quietly sliding the window shut again.

  It was dark and raining and she cursed Tony for coming home early and chasing her out as she jogged along the landing and down the stairs. The wind was howling through a broken windowpane when she reached the bottom of the stairwell, and she paused to zip her jacket and pull up her hood before pushing out through the heavy door. Hurrying up the path, she hesitated when she heard her name being called, and looked round to see little Jamie Holland from the second floor waving to her from the concrete play-area in the centre of the estate. Alone, as usual, wearing pants that were a good inch too short and a Christmas-patterned jumper that had seen far better days, the boy scooped up the half-flat football he’d been kicking against the wall and ran over to her.

  ‘Where y’off?’ he asked, his nose a bright red button in the middle of his pasty face.

  ‘To my mate’s,’ she said, trying not to grimace at the odour of stale piss that always emanated from him. ‘What you doing out in the rain without a coat?’

  ‘Some lads chucked it in the canal after school,’ he told her. ‘Said it were covered in fleas and they needed to drown ’em.’

  Incensed that he was being bullied because of the crappy clothes his junkie mother made him wear, Lexi said, ‘Who were they? I’ll chuck the little shits in and make them get it back for you.’

  ‘Dunno.’ Jamie shrugged. ‘They was from the big school. But it don’t matter; me jumper’s warm.’

  ‘It’s soaked,’ Lexi countered. ‘And you’ll catch your death if you stay out too much longer, so why don’t you go home and dry off?’

  ‘Can’t,’ he sniffed, wiping his nose on his sleeve. ‘Me mam and her fella was scrapping over a wrap of gear, and she told me not to come back till she called for me.’

  Lexi shook her head in disgust. He was only ten, and he ought to be safe and warm at home, not left out here to get soaked while his mother and her latest shag got high. But he was a tough nut who knew no different, so her pity was wasted on him.

  ‘That your dad?’ Jamie jerked his chin up at the flats behind her.

  Lexi followed his gaze up to the fourth floor and clenched her teeth when she saw Tony standing on the landing, the tip of his roll-up glowing red in the dark. Skin crawling when she realized he must have gone into her room and seen that she had sneaked out, she muttered, ‘No it ain’t. It’s just the fat, useless dickhead my mum married.’

  ‘Want me to do ’im in?’ Jamie offered. ‘I’ve been learning karate from a book I nicked out the library, and I’m dead good. Look . . .’

  Trying not to laugh when he dropped the ball and started chopping and kicking at the air with a deadly serious expression on his thin face, Lexi said, ‘Pack it in before you slip on the mud and break your neck. And no, I don’t want you to do him in – he’ll only sit on you and squash you to death.’

  ‘I’ll get our Mark to shoot ’im then.’

  ‘I thought he was in prison?’

  ‘Yeah, he is. But he’s got mates on the outside who’ll do it if he tells ’em.’

  Touched that he wanted to help her, Lexi smiled and shook her head. He might look a mess and stink to high heaven, but he was a good kid and she had a real soft spot for him.

  ‘I’ve got to go,’ she said, reaching out to ruffle his wet hair. ‘Don’t stay out too long. And if those big lads bother you again, karate chop their balls. OK?’

  Jamie wiped his nose on his sleeve again as he watched Lexi walk away. He wished he was older so she could be his girlfriend, because no one ever spoke to him as nice as she did. Eve ryone else treated him like shit – even his mam, who was more interested in drugs and men than she was in him. But Lexi acted like she really cared about him, and he loved her for that.

  As Lexi disappeared into the shadows of the alleyway leading off the estate, Jamie heard angry shouts coming from the flats and turned his head in time to see his mother’s boyfriend stumble out onto the landing and puke over the balcony. Seconds later Jamie’s mam came out and started punching him. Guessing that the man must have necked the wrap of smack they’d been fighting over, Jamie scooped his sodden football up off the grass and went back to his solitary game.

  It was a two-mile, half-hour walk to her best friend Nicole Harvey’s house, and Lexi was soaked to the bone by the time she got there. When she and Nic had first started hanging round together, the Harveys had lived on the next block along from her on the Kingston estate, so neither of them had had to walk too far to meet up. But since Nic’s dad, Danny, had got rich and bought them this big house on the much posher Riverside estate, it was a slog and a half to reach her; hence she preferred to meet up at the park or the indoor market outside of school hours.

  Shivering now, her teeth chattering loudly, Lexi rang the bell and stamped her frozen feet as she waited for an answer. The porch light came on a few seconds later and Nicole peered out at her.

  ‘Oh, it’s you,’ Nicole said, a tinge of disappointment in her voice as she glanced over Lexi’s shoulder and did a quick scan of the road. ‘I was hoping it might be Ryan.’

  ‘Are you expecting him?’ Lexi asked, praying that her friend would say no, because they wouldn’t want her hanging around if he came over, and she had nowhere else to go.

  ‘He said he’d try to call round if he got the chance, but he must be busy,’ Nicole said, sighing when she saw that the road was deserted. ‘What you doing here at this time, anyway? I don’t usually see you for dust after dark.’

  ‘Dickhead came home early and started acting weird, so I had to get out of there,’ Lexi told her. ‘Can I stop here till my mum finishes work?’

  ‘Can’t you wait for her at the pub?’ Nicole asked, glancing back over her shoulder and lowering her voice, before adding, ‘Mine’s in a bit of a funny one today.’

  ‘Kids aren’t allowed in there at night,’ Lexi reminded her. ‘Please, Nic. I’m freezing.’

  Nicole chewed on her lip for a moment. Then, nodding, she said, ‘OK. But you can’t stay long, and you’ll have to be quiet. And take them off.’ She nodded at Lexi’s soaked trainers. ‘The cleaner was in today and my mum’ll lose her shit if you get the floor dirty.’

  Lexi gratefully stepped inside and took off her trainers. As she was standing them in the corner, the living room door opened and Nicole’s mum, Rachel, appeared. She was the same age as Lexi’s mum, but the Botox, breast implants and hair extensions made her look closer to Nicole and Lexi’s age. She dressed young, too, and Lexi thought she’d be beautiful if it wasn’t for the permanent I can smell shit expression on her otherwise perfect face.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Rachel asked, flashing a disapproving glance at the puddle of rainwater that had formed on the laminate flooring around Lexi’s sodden socks.

  ‘Lex needs some notes for a science project we’re working on,’ Nicole lied. ‘I meant to give them to her after school this afternoon, but I forgot.’

  ‘And it couldn’t have waited till morning?’ Rachel almost managed to raise an eyebrow. ‘You’re supposed to be doing your homework.’

  ‘I did it when I got home, and this has got to be handed in first thing,’ said Nicole. ‘Don’t worry, it won’t take long.’

  ‘Make sure it doesn’t. And clean that up.’ Rachel pointed at the puddle and gave Lexi a withering look before flouncing back into the living room.

  ‘I’d best go,’ Lexi whispered as Nicole spread the water around with the bottom of her slipper to make it look as if she’d wiped it.

  ‘Don’t be daft, you’re here now,’ Nicole said, gesturing for her to come upstairs. ‘I told you she was in a funny one, so don’t take it personal. She’s been biting everyone’s heads off since I got home. My aunt reckons it’s the menopause, but the vain bitch’d rather die than admit she’s old enough for that.’

  Lexi nodded, but deep down she knew it was personal. She didn’t know why, because she’d always been polite and respectful, but the woman had made it quite clear that she didn’t like her. Even before she’d had money, Rachel had acted like her shit didn’t stink; and now she’d gone up in the world and could afford to wear proper designer gear instead of the snide stuff everyone wore on the estate, she was a thousand times worse.

  ‘Put your jacket on the radiator so you don’t wet my duvet,’ Nicole ordered when they entered her bedroom a few seconds later.

  Doing as she was told, Lexi looked around and felt a twinge of envy in her gut. It was a while since she’d been in there and she’d forgotten how nice it was. Her own room was small, messy, and always cold, even in summer; but this was a warm, spacious haven of girly pinks that any girl would be proud to call her own. The lacquered furniture matched, as did the bedding; and a flat-screen TV that was bigger than the one in Lexi’s living room was attached to the wall opposite the bed, on the screen of which a Netflix movie was currently paused.

  ‘So what’s Dickhead been up to this time?’ Nicole asked, settling on the bed and stretching out her legs.

  ‘He was pissed and he trapped me in the kitchen,’ Lexi said, flopping down beside her. ‘Reckons I need someone to show me the ropes before the lads start sniffing round.’ She mimicked the last bit while making quote marks in the air with her fingers.

  ‘Dirty bastard,’ Nicole scowled. ‘He didn’t touch you, did he?’

  ‘No, I didn’t give him the chance. I told him to get lost and did a runner.’

  ‘Are you gonna tell your mum?’

  ‘What’s the point? Everything goes in one ear and straight out the other where he’s concerned.’

  ‘Maybe he’s got a massive dick,’ Nicole mused.

  ‘Ewww!’ Lexi grimaced. ‘Why would you even think something like that?’

  ‘Well there’s got to be something special about him to make her stick with him this long,’ Nicole laughed. ‘And it sure ain’t his looks or his charming personality.’

  ‘You’re sick,’ Lexi muttered, shaking the unwelcome images out of her head as she plucked a chocolate out of a box she’d spied under a magazine on the bedside table.

  ‘Oi!’ Nicole protested. ‘They were really expensive and I’ve only got a few left.’

  ‘I haven’t had my tea yet,’ Lexi said, popping the chocolate into her mouth before Nicole could demand she put it back. ‘And I’m sure your dad’ll get you some more if you ask nicely. You know he can never say no to his little princess.’

  ‘That ain’t the point,’ Nicole grumbled, leaning over to grab the box to stop Lexi from taking any more of them. After putting it down on her own side, she glanced at the door to make sure it was shut before saying quietly, ‘Subject of me dad, it’s their anniversary on Saturday and he’s taking bitch-face to Paris for the weekend.’

  ‘Nice,’ Lexi said, wishing her mum had married someone like Danny Harvey instead of getting stuck with a loser like Tony. The only holiday she’d ever had was a week in a caravan in Wales when she was four or five – which she didn’t even remember. And, these days, they’d be lucky to afford a day trip to Blackpool, never mind a weekend in Paris.

  ‘Yeah, it is nice, ’cos we’re having a party,’ Nicole whispered. ‘Our Adam’s been organizing it in secret all week.’

  ‘Really?’ Lexi perked up at the thought of a party. ‘What time’s it starting?’

  ‘Oh, sorry, babe, you’re not invited,’ Nicole said, instantly bursting her bubble. ‘It’s Adam’s party, not mine, so it’s gonna be all his mates. But it wouldn’t be your kind of thing, anyway, ’cos there’ll be loads of booze and weed, and you’re more of a jelly and balloons sort of girl, aren’t you?’

  ‘No I’m not,’ Lexi pouted. ‘I hate jelly.’

  Laughing at her expression, Nicole said, ‘I’m joking, you idiot. Course you can come. But don’t be telling Dawn and Hannah, ’cos they’re definitely not invited.’

  ‘How come?’ Lexi asked, surprised to hear that, because those were the girls they hung out with at school.

 

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