A mate of convenience, p.1
A Mate of Convenience, page 1
A Mate
of
Convenience
Marisa Jags
1 Matured
Twins. A single fertilized egg that splits into two separate beings within the womb, into either identical or nonidentical persons; unless you’re a werewolf. Then the identicalness stops on the outside. Only the original retains the ability to shift while the other remains a human with shifter traits. The moon’s gift, the magical ability to shift was not something cloned in the womb.
Though I was delivered second, I was the one with the wolf soul.
Noella and I grew up close but the entire family spent more effort into her life. She was the human living among wolves, she felt excluded from so much. Because she wasn’t officially a werewolf, she wasn’t a part of the pack therefore was kept out of everything wolf related.
She was everything a wolf was, but couldn’t shift. Termed a human, even though she was a lot more. She smelt like a wolf but couldn’t be considered one, therefore the pack classified her as a human.
At eleven years old, I learnt how to phase into paws. With that, I was allowed to partake in runs with the other youths. Honestly, it was as if I had two lives. Until then, Noella didn’t withdraw or show anything but support for me. She and I were best friends. Off course, now that I could shift, I had new friends who wanted to explore our new found abilities.
Wolves are social creatures. We moved as a pack when adventuring into the woods. Learning how to navigate on paws was mandatory. The alpha decreed that all pups learn survival skills upon learning how to shift.
“Lystra, can I come?” Noella would ask at first hoping I would break the alpha’s orders on allowing her to accompany us on runs.
Excluding her was for her own safety. Maybe to prevent her from getting hurt or, in the event humans were out in the woods, seeing a girl among wolves would lead to bullets aimed at the wolves. Humans were so gun happy where we lived. They didn’t know of our existence but did note the large wolf population in the forest. The mayor, our Alpha, had outlawed the shooting of wolves, however humans would often argue they believed they were in danger therefore had to shoot. All of his orders were for our safety. Including mandatory shifting and running with my peers. It wasn’t my choice to leave Noella behind.
I always made it up to her, by spending every other minute of my life with her. That was until we were fifteen and Jordan Tudor became our friend. Like me, he was a wolf but was a year older. We clicked so well but he would gravitate to Noella more. Her personality made everyone love her.
She was the human who lived in the moment. She loved breaking the rules. Sneaking off with Jordan at night became her norm. I didn’t snitch mostly because my parents knew what she was doing. They allowed her so much leeway growing up, all because she was human. They coddled her, even when she was acting out.
“She’s human and we have to make her life comfortable Lystra. She and her boyfriend can do as they please.” Mum said the first time Noella snuck out. She was only fourteen.
The logic was, Noella was a human and had no mate to wait for. Therefore, she wouldn’t be judged as I would be. I was the one with a mate out there, unlike Noella. In my parents’ eyes, I was the juvenile as I was still not mature enough to sense my mate. That only happened at around age sixteen or older. In Noella’s case, she was a human; and humans in our state could consent at age fourteen.
I should have spoken up then…
When we were fifteen, for the first time, Noella didn’t care to spend time with me. She had her own friends and off course Jordan, to keep her occupied. I started feeling the signs of rejection then, but didn’t know it. How does one really note the signs?
Jordan would whisk my sister away all hours of the night, while I covered for her. I helped her take my mate from me…
My reality shattered the night I sensed Jordan as my mate. The day I started hearing my own heartbeat.
Thud! Thud! Thud!
The sound overwhelmed my senses, it was as if I could hear the blood flow running pass my ears into my brain.
Thud! Thud! Thud!
My mate was my identical twin sister’s boyfriend.
A ringing noise joined the thudding of my heart, making my body become disorientated. I felt lightheaded, like the cloudy feeling you get prior fainting.
“Are you alright dear?” Mum asked as I stood up from my chair.
I was about to speak but the look on her eyes told me she knew. She always knew. In anger, I looked around at the faces of my family at the dinner table. They all knew, dad, mum, my older brother Kyle, grandma, grandpa, uncle Brian, Noella and Jordan. I was the only fool at the table not seeing what had been before my eyes for almost a year. Now it made sense why they actively avoided me so often.
This was just an ordinary dinner, like we had each night. Only, tonight I was able to feel the pull of my mate. My moon given soulmate who I now realized, was choosing another.
“Jordan?” I choked on his name. A warm tear leaked down to my mouth adding a salty taste to my tongue.
I felt like that tear, unwanted and salty.
“Lystra.” He said but didn’t let Noella’s hand go.
“What’s going on?” My sister asked looking more hurt than me.
“He’s my mate Noella!” I shouted at her for the first time in my life.
“Don’t raise your voice young lady!” Dad snapped at me.
Did he not hear what I said?
“Lystra, I feel the pull to her too.” Jordan spoke up making me fall back to my seat. “I feel the pull to the both of you.” The last sentence a bit softer.
“What does that mean?” I wasn’t sure if I was shouting or whispering.
My body went cold. I felt as if my soul was trying to escape the confinement of my skin, as if I was floating outside my own body, but still glued to the table.
“Lystra, you have to understand, you and Noella were once one being. The mate of a twin can feel the connection to both of them.”
“But do you feel the mate bond Noella?” I asked my sister who still hadn’t let Jordan’s hand go. What a fool I was, they both were holding hands not just her.
“I feel something more, I love him.” She defended.
“I love her too.” Jordan’s words echoed in my head.
“She isn’t your mate. I am.” I argued.
“No Lystra, she is my mate. I get to choose. I chose her.”
I heard him, but the words ‘I love her too’ in his voice was still repeating in my head. Too much to process with the sound of blood in my head.
“See I said this shit would happen.” Kyle spoke as he came to my side. “I warned them! I told them we should just tell you but no! They wanted to wait until you were mature enough to feel the bond.” He continued with air quotes.
My suspicion was confirmed. They all knew.
“What?”
How hurt could a person feel? They knew he was choosing her, but more so, they were okay with this injustice towards me.
“It’s my choice Lystra. I feel the connection to you both but I love her. I prefer Noella.” Jordan said with passion and conviction.
All these months he had been spending time here, they fell for each other. To him, she was just as much his mate, only she couldn’t shift. When she touched him, he felt the sparks. When he sees her, he sees the other part of his soul.
I could shift, but she held his heart.
“What about me?”
“Jordan, take Noella out. We need to speak with Lystra.” Dad ordered.
“Okay. We’ll be at my house.” Jordan said.
“You mean your parents’ house, right?” Uncle Brian spoke somewhat sarcastically.
“Dad you can’t be okay with this? Grandma, grandpa tell them they are handling this the wrong way!” I pleaded as soon as Jordan and Noella were out the door.
“Lystra honey, Jordan made up his mind months ago. He loves her.” Grandpa spoke.
Months. Another sentence added to the echoing in my head. Jordan was older, off course he knew I was his mate.
He! Loves! Her! The new sounds I heard in place of my heartbeat. My own body was tormenting me. Reminding me, the other part of my soul loves her.
“How can he do this? I’m going to Alpha Donavan!”
“Baby, you can’t. Jordan already went to him.” Mum said almost like a robot.
Had she been practicing saying these words to me for months? Did they hold little meetings to rehearse telling me my mate chose my twin? Was that what Kyle meant when he said he warned them? I was split between feeling angry and betrayed.
“What did Alpha say?” did I really want to know?
“He agreed with Jordan’s argument.” Kyle stated.
Argument? At least the Alpha made him justify why he was doing this. Honestly my family acted like they just accepted the outcome. As always, give Noella what she wanted because she’s human. They saw her humanity as a disability, what will they see my mate’s rejection of me as?
“What argument was that?” My own voice hurt my ears. My voice carried my pain, was I crying? I couldn’t tell because I was still somewhat in shock. The emotions only pilled on one another, not allowing me to process them all.
“Lystra, you don’t need the details.” Grandma spoke in her kind and sweet voice, only she was being stern. She was trying to order me not to ask by using her authority.
“I need the details if I am to accept that my whore of a sister has more right to my mate!” I exploded.
& nbsp; A deafening ringing and a white light were all I computed followed by the smell of my blood. Dad had slapped me.
“You will not call your sister such names” his anger made his hands partially shift and the force busted my lip open.
I saw the regret in his face but it faded in the blink of an eye. Male shifters were prideful, they didn’t admit to being wrong even when it drew blood from their children. That was the lesson I learn from this.
My mother looked displeased but would never speak against my dad, for they were a united front. She would voice her anger at his actions in private, but would never do so in public.
Grandma, well she was of a different stock. They didn’t see domestic violence, but a man firmly laying the laws his female and children must abide by. She and grandpa grew up in a different era so they were excused, having been educated that way, they saw nothing wrong with dad’s method of discipline. But dad… Dad knew better.
“What word shall you have me call her then dad?”
He huffed out a breath them moved to hug me. I didn’t reciprocate.
“Lys... Jordan argued he was born with two mates. He feels the pull equally to you and Noella. He claims after spending months with the both of you, he fell in love with Noella. He believes because he can feel the bond with both of you, that was the goddess granting him a choice.” Dad said as he kelp a firm hold of me.
It was almost of if he wasn’t comforting me, but was holding me down. Maybe he was expecting me to shift the go after Noella. Was that why he asked Jordan to take her?
“And what did the Alpha say?” I was indeed crying now.
Silence. Dad didn’t reply. Kyle had to be the one to answer when no one wanted to.
“Alpha Donavan said, he wishes he were lucky enough to have been the one with such a choice. He informed Jordan polygyny is legal in this pack. But as you know, Jordan only wants Noella.”
Only wants. More words added to the echoes in my head.
He! Loves! Her! The new sound of my heartbeat mocked me.
“Kyle no. The Alpha only gave him that option after asking him to give you a chance.” Mum interjected looking at me.
“Why go through that with her when none of it matters? Jordan chose Noella. Lystra if you must know, the Alpha with all his wisdom refused Jordan for months but caved when he brough in the ‘goddess gave him and him alone’, the choice of you, Noella, or both of you. Jordan decided he loved Noella too much to even consider a polygynous relationship. Not that anyone here would have ever agreed to that, mum, dad and our grandparents objected to it as soon as the elders brough it to Jordan’s attentions.”
This honestly felt as if everyone but me, had a say in what happens with me but me. How could Jordan do this?
“Does Noella know?” I had a right to know.
Maybe she didn’t. Hopefully she would object to Jordan’s inconsideration towards me. This was a bond formed by the goddess after all.
My sister had always been accepting of what she was. She hated that mum and dad treated her like she was broken. She and I spoke about how happy she was to be human, to have choice in her life. To decide who she wants. She said that much with each of her new boyfriends. I knew for a fact, Noella was happy to not have a mate, she said so to me.
Noella wouldn’t do this to me, I concluded when no one answered.
My imagination took hold, telling me, at this very moment there was shouting being done. Noella was shouting at Jordan for thinking he could do this to me. I had to believe this or my mind would think other dark thoughts.
Rejected bonds were not pretty. The rejected parties were never themselves for a long time. Recovery took years sometimes and then the burden of finding companionship made them into desperate wolves, seeking love from every available person around them. Life was a downward spiral for those suffering from rejection.
“Lystra sweetheart, I know you think it’s the end of the world but trust me, it will work itself out.” Uncle Brian spoke.
“Don’t give her false hope.” Kyle snapped.
I wasn’t sure if he was on my side or not at this point.
“Do you think this is right?” I asked aloud hoping someone in this room was on my side.
“It’s a shit of a situation but what can we do? Jordan wants who he wants. He feels the pull, even when he shifts into wolf, he sticks to Noella’s side.” Kyle alone responded.
Unlike pop culture would have you believe, there wasn’t a separated entity living in a werewolf’s head. No, we were what we were; a breed of shifters. In wolf form the bond was supposed to be stronger. My wolf form gives me more connection to nature and the freedom of a human conscious. I was an animal when in wolf, but I was still Lystra; master of my own mind. Though, right now I wish I had a split personality to deal with my life.
Jordan wanting Noella when in his wolf form, meant he was serious about her. Though, during the mandatory runs, he and I were in the same running group. He did have contact with me in wolf form, yet still chose her.
My stomach churned until I couldn’t contain it. I threw up.
“Why don’t you go to your room Lystra. I’ll bring you a cup of tea.” Mum said holding my hair back.
“I’ll clean this up.” Dad said, which I felt was his strange way of making amends for hitting me. Why couldn’t he just be normal? Not that I could ever respect him the same way again.
This wasn’t the life the goddess intended for me. She wouldn’t be this cruel?
After cleaning up, I sat on my bed facing the door. On it was little hand prints that belonged to Noella and I from when we were about six. I never painted it over or tried to clean it, as it was always a reminder. Mum was furious when she saw it, but couldn’t tell who made the mess. It was my idea to play with paint and decorate the door. Noella and I didn’t budge and both of us still ended up getting a time out. It used to remind me that she and I were always in it together. She would never betray me…
“Lystra?” Kyle called from outside my room. “Can I come in?”
“If you must.” I mournfully spoke.
Kyle walked in looking like he was about to speak in front of a classroom. Nervous. Another rehearsed act. Why not? They had months to ready themselves.
“What?”
“Lys, I think you should look at this from Jordan’s perspective. He could have gotten freaked out and rejected both of you.” He cut straight to the point.
“What?”
“You’re my baby sister, I love you. But Noella is also my baby sister. Jordan could have rejected both of you. I for one, would have been freaked out if I found out I had two mates_”
“He has one mate. Noella isn’t his mate. She doesn’t feel the bond, hence can’t call him her mate.” I corrected him.
“Jordan feels the pull to both of you. Don’t make me explain this again, I know you understand. He could have rejected both of you but chose her. She is our sister and we need to be happy for her. She found someone who will love her for life. I know it seems like she stole from you. But you, Lystra were born second… She could argue that you are the copy and she was the original.”
The age-old argument about the copy being the second one. I was second born but that meant nothing as the order of birth was only based on which child was closer to the exit. I had the ability to shift, that made me the original. The wolf spirit didn’t split, when the fertilized egg did. That magic stayed with the original. I had the had the ability to feel the mate pull and mark a mate as my own. Noella didn’t and would never. Therefore, she wasn’t his mate.
“Get out.” I growled.
“Lystra. He tried to bond with you but it didn’t work, he bonded with her.”
“No.” He never spent any substantial time with me… Jordan was a liar.
“You need to hear this. He isn’t going to change his mind. So, you need to move on.” He said as I pushed him out my room. He was the last person who I would listen to, the brother who called me a freak for years all because I was a twin.
I searched the depts of my mind trying to recall if Jordan had ever really tried with me. A few runs when we now met, as it was mandatory. All the newly shifted were scheduled to run together under the supervision of assigned elders. This was how the elders monitored our ability to control the wolf side within us.
“Ready to go Listerine!” Jordan called the first time he came over.
