Cursed, p.11
Cursed, page 11
part #3 of Haven Realm Series
Ash glowered and placed a hand over his mouth, smelling his own breath. “Definitely not my breath. It’s my enchanting kiss.” He waggled his eyebrows.
I loved how even in the face of adversity, they joked around.
“I don’t know why she reacted,” I said. “Could be that we’re under the curse, and her magic is reacting to it? Once two or more spells overlap, anything can happen. If I was home in Terra, I’d go through my magic books for ideas on what herbs could amplify my ability. I might find a way to protect us, keep Lilita at bay, and find something to tackle the hex without the need to spill blood.” I didn’t plan on giving Lilita any reasons to return. If Mom were still alive, she’d have told me how to keep my dark side at bay. I’d never seen her struggle with hers, so what was I doing wrong?
“I own a few books on plants,” Ash offered. “Might even have a couple on magic.”
I did a double take at Ash, gasping. “So magic isn’t banned in White Peak?”
Ash shook his head. “No, of course not.”
Yeah, because only the insane priestess in Terra had implemented that prehistoric rule.
Raze interrupted my thoughts. “What we need is to lock ourselves up. Our only cage is damaged from when we pried it open together, so it needs to be strengthened. That’s our first concern.”
“I disagree.” Talin had a sneer in his voice. “Our priority is ensuring that psycho Lilita doesn’t return. She fucking controlled us! Cages are useless if she’s free.” His hands balled, and I could see him smashing a fist into the wall.
The urge to curl in on myself and hide flooded me. They feared what lay inside me, but then so did I. But if the curse was to blame for bringing her out, then would she reappear once night settled? Just as all four princes would transform into bears?
A boulder might as well be sitting on my chest because I could barely breathe. We were running out of time. In my heart, I wished I could retract ever accepting this assignment. As much as I was starting to really like these princes, I'd caused more trouble than they'd already been in. It would've been better if we’d never met. At that thought, a pain hit my chest, stealing my breath. But I knew the truth of the severity of what had happened. I’d just signed everyone’s death warrant, including my own.
“All right, Ash,” I said, “where are your books on herbs? Everyone else needs to come up with a new solution to fixing the damaged cage. Unless you have a dungeon under the castle? We can lock you down there if you do. That’s all I can think of. Then, we’ll work out a plan for your cousin. Our priority is us not tearing each other apart.” And keeping Lilita forever at bay.
With the men all staring at me, I forced a smile.
“We got rid of the dungeon,” Leven said. “Turned the cells into entertainment rooms with games.”
Ash placed his hand into mine, our fingers intertwined. He drew me across the room. “Come with me.”
Nausea whirled through my stomach unrestrained. Goddess, please help me find a solution to save everyone.
Chapter 14
I know you’re nothing like Lilita,” Ash said, his hand still around mine. That small gesture gave me the strength to keep going, to stop feeling as if I were alone, to believe we’d find a way out of the mess tangled around the five of us.
Tightening my hold, I glanced up at him. “That means a lot. But you’re all probably thinking I’m a monster ready to kill you.”
“We’re scared of more than just Lilita, but I don’t see you as a beast.” He drew me downstairs and back through the house, past doors I hadn’t explored yet. An old kitchen. Dining room. Restroom. All drab, empty of life, and a constant reminder of what was at stake for the princes should they fail.
And while I easily admitted to helping them because they deserved support, I’d confess that with the time bomb now ticking under my breastbone, I felt like screaming and running back home. But then what? Try to evade the rebels outside and leave the princes in a worse situation than when I’d arrived? But what if being away from them was for the best? There’d be no Lilita to control them, yet with me gone, where would they find another witch? Right, because I’d been such a huge assistance so far.
Hurrying down a long corridor, windows on one side and decorative shields on the other, I stared at the double doors we approached.
“Aren’t you scared?” I asked. “Because I am. I feel like a rabbit surrounded by wolves.”
“A little.” His hand squeezed mine. “After we retrieved my parents and Vivienne’s bodies from the bottom of the cliff, I think a part of me died with them that day. Even since, I’ve realized that if fate’s coming for me, who am I to stop it? At least I might see them again.”
“That breaks my heart.” What would Dad do if I never returned home? Would he spend the rest of his life searching for me in vain? I’d want him to go on with life, enjoy what he had, not waste it on me. Yet I remembered the weeks and months I’d spent hidden in my room after Mom’s death, refusing to talk to anyone. Grief still stung like a bitch.
Ash glanced down at me. “I don’t know how else to deal with the loss, even after all these years. And when Talin fell sick, the grief rose through me again, shredding me apart.” His voice broke, and he looked away.
I hugged him tight, my arms wrapped around his chest. “So that’s why you throw yourself into gardening and trying to get the snow roses to grow.”
Slowly, he softened against me, his muscles losing their tension, and he embraced me back. I sunk into the warmth of his body, his strength a shield from the world. His touch made my past somewhat bearable, and I prayed he felt the same.
He pulled back, his eyes lightly glistening. “Guess we all have our escapes. Talin dives into community work, getting the royal families to work together and stop fighting. Raze hides behind his heroic deeds and goes out most nights fighting for anyone in trouble. Leven keeps to himself most of the time, not talking for a week at a time, but recently he’s hinting it might be time for him to find a wife. Expand the family line. Something I’ve been telling Talin he needs to do quick.”
I nodded, curious to understand how everyone dealt with grief in their own way. My way was to hide from the world. Dad’s had been to throw himself into inventing everything under the sun, forgetting to eat and sleep. Yet my thoughts revolved around Leven wanting a wife, and a streak of jealousy filled me, which was stupid and childish. I longed to find my own other half one day.
“And what about you? What’s your escape?” His hand slid across my cheek, warm and calloused, but protective. His eyes glimmered against the light pouring in through the windows behind him. Ash stood tall over me, and if he’d wanted to, he could have snapped my neck in a flash with those muscles. But he had a soft expression and reminded me of my friend Scarlet. They might be powerful on the inside, but they treated the world with a feather-soft approach.
I responded in a raspy voice. “I spend a lot of time working on controlling my magic, strengthening my ability.” And keeping Lilita from taking over. Goddess, would I ever be normal and find happiness? “Plus, there’s my writing.”
His fingers combed through my hair to the back of my head, and something about his closeness had me pressing closer. Anything to stop feeling as if I carried the world on my shoulders. His lips parted, and I stared at their deliciousness, hidden amidst his short stubble with golden specks.
“It’s definitely your erotic stories,” he said.
I stiffened at the men’s inability to separate sex from romance. “It’s a romance story, not just sex. But maybe you’re right. Throwing myself into these stories is something I enjoy and lets me forget my problems.”
He laughed, thick and heavy. “And when you do get around to writing about me, I’d be honored.” He winked.
“You’re funny,” I said. “And if we were anywhere else and you weren’t a prince, I might even ask you out on a date. There’s this great little coffee shop near my place and we can chat about herbs and plants all day long.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I froze on the spot, abashed that I would even say that out loud. Being around Ash made me feel normal, as if he were a friend I had a crush on back home and he felt the same, but neither would make a move. I felt so stupid.
He melted me with his grin. “Who said I’d want to talk about vegetation? I’d rather hear more about you. Shall we head inside then?” Ash drew his hand back, but I grabbed for his wrist, keeping him in place. I didn’t want to be apart, or alone. For those few moments, I’d felt normal again, amazed I could even smile. His earlier words about my writing being my escape stayed with me. And in truth, I’d used it to distract myself from the darkness inside me, to pretend I was someone else without such a burden on her shoulders. What I did find was that each time I wrote just before my magical training, especially the super raunchy scenes, I’d always cast with precision, feeling stronger. I put that down to feeling horny from the scene, which relaxed my muscles, but what if that state of excitement and distraction strengthened my ability to keep my dark side at bay? To control my magic better?
“Hey, you know upstairs when you kissed Lilita,” I said, “and then she was thrown off you? What did you feel?”
“Pretty disgusted.”
“That’s a bit harsh.” And now my earlier slip about a date had me blushing like a beetroot.
“Not from you, sweetie, but knowing it was her. A snap of energy just lanced across my mouth, ripping her off me. Weird, right?”
I nodded, unsure why a kiss would result in such a reaction. “Just toying with an idea. But what if the kiss drove Lilita away? Like an outlet for all the power I carry inside me. And maybe we’re somehow connected because of the curse backfiring.”
Ash studied me, his gaze falling to my lips, and his closeness seduced me.
“It’s a crazy thought.” I broke free, but Ash collected me back into his embrace, our bodies pressed together as he leaned down. “But what if our kiss brings back Lilita?” I asked.
“Considering our circumstances, I think we need to try out every possibility. I read somewhere once that true passion coming from the heart could drive darkness away. Maybe your passion is linked to kinky stuff.” He smirked, and I fake-slapped his arm, but he caught it and kissed the center of my palm. Every part of me buzzed, and a fiery desire roared awake inside me.
“Can you feel anything now?” he asked.
“Only you tickling me,” I teased.
He drew me closer, his face dipping lower, and without pause, his mouth brushed against mine. Soft at first, as if testing my response or what might happen. With no reaction, I wrapped my hands around his neck and lifted myself on tippy-toes. He kissed me—hard and starved. I pressed my tongue to his lips and he parted them, sucking me in, tangling my tongue with his.
I moaned, and he walked me backward until I hit the wall. He gripped my hips and picked me off my feet with such ease, I lost my breath. Pinned between the wall and Ash, I collected my skirt on either side of my thighs and curled my legs around his waist, holding on. Now, we were at the same height. This huge man undid me. Beneath him, fire spread through my body at the intoxication of his desperate and passionate kiss.
When he broke away, we stayed there, our brows touching. Tenderness lay behind his green eyes. “What about now?” His devilish smile was an addiction.
“Well, I may need more of your sugar before I can really tell,” I suggested, butterflies swirling inside my stomach. After his kiss, I was lost and needed more. He left me giddy, hyped up on his attention.
“I get that. And just for your information, I’m feeling incredible right now.”
I laughed because I couldn’t sense that suppressed heaviness from Lilita, either, and I felt normal, as if she imprisoned back in my mind. Better yet, being intimate with Ash and controlling my dark side at the same time was a win-win.
Ash inhaled my lips and breath, his hands skipping up the sides of my body and across to my ass. Squeezing, kneading. His warmth cocooned me.
“Shall we go check out those books?” He breathed the words into my mouth, and I made a sound that sounded like yes, unable to pull myself away.
With my legs still wrapped around him, he opened the door and walked us inside. That old paper smell hit me at once, but my mouth gaped open at the sight, and I wriggled out of Ash’s embrace.
“Are you fucking kidding me? This is ‘a few’ books on plants?”
“I never said all the books were on vegetation. And you may want to close your mouth, as I’m sure there are moths in here.”
“Fucking crapping balls.” I darted into the enormous circular room and spun on the spot, my skirt twirling around my ankles. Thin vertical windows across the ceiling were tinted a pale pink, giving the five floors of bookshelves a reddish hue. Each was U-shaped; bookshelves covered every inch of the walls and the wooden railings. An elaborate metal staircase sat dead in the center, curling upward and branching out to each of the floors. A few sofas and tables dotted the area, along with enormous vases painted with rose designs tucked into every nook. Rugs with more roses lead to the steps.
Bunching my skirt in my hands, I raced upstairs and swung left on the first floor, staring at books with leather cases in black, brown, and blues. The spines were varied, but with titles like Encyclopedia of Fauna, The Intricacies of Herding Cattle, and Lifecycle of Salmon, I assumed the area must have been categorized by topic. I tingled all over, unable to stop smiling as I ran from one section to another. From the third floor, I leaned over the railing and spotted Ash lounging on a couch, watching me.
“Holy shit! This is incredible.”
He pointed to his ear and shook his head.
I rushed past the collections of books on sea vessels, astrology guides, and history texts on Haven to run down the winding stairs to Ash’s side. “I could live here. Seriously.” I waved my hands toward the room behind me. “I’d sleep on the couch and you could just slide me some food under the door. I’m in heaven.” Laughing like a crazy person, I couldn’t stop and bounced on my toes. “Where did all these books come from? Back in Terra the local store consists of my friend attending the market and bringing books from other realms. Maybe twenty tops each time. Nothing like this…” I twisted toward the library and my throat tightened. “If Dad saw this place, he might die from excitement. He’s an inventor, you know.” Mom would always surprise him with new books from different realms. She never told him where she bought them from, but once I caught her selling one of her family rings for two texts for Dad’s birthday.
“Books on inventions through history are on level five. Right next to cookbooks. Many of the castle staff used to spend hours in here. It’s open to everyone.”
I whirled around, at a loss for words for once, and my throat thickened. Back in Terra the priestess had once held a book burning because not enough people had been working the field and she’d blamed the texts people spent hours studying on various topics. But Mom had always made sure I read every night, saying it would broaden my horizons. A tear trickled down my cheek.
Ash stretched out his hand and took mine. He pulled me toward him and I nestled next to him. “Sure hope they’re tears of joy.” He ran a thumb across my cheek.
“Hell, yeah. But, books remind me of my mom.” And the tears flooded once again, gushing out. I didn’t mean to cry like a baby, or for my breaths to hiccup. But I missed Mom and I hated the danger I’d put the princes in, how I might never see my dad again—there was all this fear trapped in my chest.
I leaned against his chest, loving how warm and strong he felt against me.
“You’re so beautiful and have the biggest heart.” He kissed the top of my head.
I lifted my chin to face him, and he wiped away my tears. “Thanks.”
“Well, on the bright side,” he said, not releasing his hold of me, “I haven’t felt any urges to transform, so hopefully that means my brothers are the same.”
I stared into his deep eyes, the warmth behind them, the cheeky way the corners of his mouth twitched. “What does it feel like? You know… to change?”
He shrugged. “It always starts in the solar plexus, a sharp pain as if someone poured acid down my throat. And it spreads through my body lightning fast.”
“Ouch. Sounds painful.” I pulled back.
“You get used to it.” He slid a lock behind my ear, then stood, taking my hand and drawing me to my feet. “Let’s get this done then.”
What I appreciated about Ash was that I could tell if I kissed him now, we’d end up sprawled over the sofa, humping like rabbits. But he resisted. And don’t get me wrong. Hell, who didn’t want that with a hunk god? But first, I had to find a way to fix my mistake and save the princes.
If by some miracle it went in our favor, I’d gladly be open to more with Ash. I glanced over at him as took me by the hand and led me to a section of the library behind the staircase. He walked with poise and confidence, chest out, chin high. Just as a royal should.
And that image right there deflated me. Kidding myself into believing there was an afterward for us was ludicrous. We were from different worlds and a mere human with no royalty in her blood wouldn’t be good enough. Not now, not ever.
Chapter 15
We had two days to find a cure for the curse. Please, Goddess, let the earlier transformations be a one-off freak event, and help me keep Lilita suppressed. Yeah, easy. That was why the book in my hands shook. I sat cross-legged on the library floor with a stack of texts on either side of me. Ones I’d checked and the rest to review for potential spell-breaking herbs.
Ash climbed the stairs, searching for specific publications he swore he’d seen on the topic of magic.
But it was progress. Neither of us had changed yet, and he’d gone out to check on his brothers, who were still functional, normal bear shifters in human form. They’d even fixed the cage upstairs. Hooray!
I grabbed a slice of bread with cheese from the plate Ash had brought back for lunch.
